Neurodivergently Navigating the Holidays

The holidays are often thought of as a time of joy and togetherness. For neurodivergent

individuals and their families, the holidays can also offer unique challenges. From

sensory sensitivities to differences in communication and processing, navigating

festivities while ensuring everyone feels supported can take extra care and planning.

Whether you're hosting, participating, or just trying to make it through the season,

understanding and accommodating these differences can transform the holiday

experience into one that's inclusive and meaningful.

In this blog, we’ll explore practical advice from some of our Charlotte Autism Consortium

providers on how individuals and families can work together to create

neurodivergent-friendly celebrations. With tips tailored to various needs, this guide will

help you embrace the holiday spirit in a way that celebrates your unique dynamics while

minimizing stress for all.

Rachel Milbourn, LCSW

“When I think of strategies to support neurodivergent clients and their

families, I think of structure and predictability.”

“The holidays are a time of year often filled with guests, travel, and time off from school or work.

Planning as much as you can, as early as you can, increases

predictability, resulting in reduced anxiety. Also, being mindful that time off

can also create uncertainty about how to fill it. I recommend a visual

schedule that loosely structures days off, allowing time for special

interests. I call this ‘structured flexibility,’ and it has resonated with my

clients and created space for them to develop and enjoy their interests.”

Devon Brunson, MS, CCC-SLP, CBIS

“Patience during the holidays can be challenging, especially for

neurodivergent individuals who may face sensory overload, increased

social expectations, and disrupted routines.”

“A few strategies can help keep interactions calm and supportive. If you are neurodivergent, identify

your specific stressors and plan breaks or quiet time to recharge. Practice setting boundaries ahead of time so you can politely excuse yourself

when overwhelmed, and communicate your needs.

For loved ones, it’s essential to stay open-minded and observant. If your

neurodivergent family member seems uncomfortable, give them space

without judgment. Avoid putting pressure on them to participate in every

activity, and respect them when they need a break. Offering simple,

non-pressured alternatives or creating quiet zones can also help. Staying

flexible, checking in about their comfort levels, and recognizing their effort

to be present goes a long way. The season will be much smoother if those

gathering together embrace a spirit of acceptance and adapt to the needs

of all.”

Glori Gray, PsyD, MSW, Licensed Psychologist

“Navigating the holidays as a neurodivergent individual or with

neurodiverse loved ones can bring unique challenges, but a few thoughtful

adjustments can make the season more enjoyable for everyone.”

“First, consider sensory needs. Holiday gatherings often mean extra lights,

music, and scents, which can be overwhelming. Creating a quiet,

designated sensory-friendly space can offer relief when needed. Second,

think about routines. Holidays may disrupt regular schedules, which can

be unsettling for many. Try to maintain familiar parts of the day or prepare

visual schedules to offer a sense of predictability. Additionally, be mindful

of social expectations. Social gatherings can be draining, so allow for

short visits or plan for breaks during events. Finally, setting boundaries

and clearly communicating them to family members can help avoid any

discomfort or pressure. With a few adjustments and an open,

compassionate approach, the holiday season can be a warm and inclusive

time for all.”

Here are some podcasters and clinicians known for providing holiday

support tips for autistic families and neurodivergent individuals:

The Autism Helper Podcast – Hosted by Sasha Long, this podcast offers

practical tips for navigating everyday situations, including holiday-specific

episodes on managing sensory needs, preparing for gatherings, and

creating structure amidst holiday excitement.

Uniquely Human: The Podcast – Dr. Barry Prizant (author of Uniquely

Human) and autistic advocate Dave Finch discuss relatable topics for autistic families, often

touching on practical strategies for maintaining comfort and reducing

holiday stress. They emphasize understanding autism through the lens of

human experience, with a focus on fostering positive, inclusive

environments.

Two Sides of the Spectrum – Hosted by Meg Ferrell, this podcast brings

in experts on autism and sensory processing, frequently providing

guidance on how to adapt holiday activities to be more sensory-friendly.

They also explore setting boundaries to prevent holiday overwhelm.

Autism Blueprint Podcast – Janeen Herskovitz, a licensed counselor,

shares strategies specifically for families with autistic children, often

discussing ways to prepare kids for holiday changes, navigate gatherings,

and adapt family traditions to be autism-friendly.

“Each of these podcasts is designed to provide actionable strategies and a

supportive perspective for families navigating the holidays with

neurodivergent loved ones.”

Christy Maloney, RD, LDN, CEDS-C

“When it comes to food at the holidays, remember that it is okay to feed

yourself foods that you enjoy without the pressure of having things that

you don't like - even if someone is pressuring you to have them!”

“If you prefer specific dishes; dislike certain tastes or textures; and/or have other

food preferences, honor that. Food is to be enjoyed without stress around

the holidays, and I hope you're able to create that experience for yourself.”

Dan O'Sullivan, MA, LCMHCA

A Neurodivergent Christmas Carol (Or: It’s an Atypical Life)

Ebenezer Cringe sat brooding. “Almost Christmas,” he muttered.

“Soon, I shall be haunted by the Ghosts of Christmas Socializing and

Festive Overstimulation. Even now, the Ghost of Holiday Planning clings

to me, like some unbelievably tacky-looking shadow. I think I’ll stay in the

office, with my solitude & my work.”

Suddenly, George Bailey burst in. “Now, wait a minute, Neezy ol’

pal,” he said, doing a spot-on Jimmy Stewart impression. “I have a terrible

time with the Ghost of Emotional Overspending myself. And that Ghost of

Altruistic Overdoingit. But don’t you think maybe you could hit on some

reasonable limits to your social & sensory stresses... maybe find some

coping tools to manage ’em... ‘stead-a just holing up in your office?”

And so Ebenezer did. He stayed only 30 minutes at Fezziwig’s

party and an hour or so at home with the Cratchits. He made use of some

fidget spinners and noise-canceling headphones, given him by the Ghost

of Christmas Future. And he found a quiet area at each social gathering

where he could take a sensory break, if needed.

So, in the words of Diminutive Darren: “Happy holidays, every

neuro-profile alike!”

Heaven Clark, MS, OTR/L

“During the holiday season, many of my clients have found it helpful to

discuss strategies to aid regulation during large family/friend events.”

These strategies could include:

✦ Taking planned breaks throughout the event—for instance, using

the restroom, volunteering to walk the dog, sitting on the porch, or

taking a walk with a family member

✦ Participating in regulatory habits during conversations with others,

such as knitting, crocheting, coloring, using fidgets, holiday-themed

crafts, etc.

✦ Utilizing noise-canceling/muffling earbuds in loud spaces

✦ Establishing a time that you would like to leave the event

beforehand and communicating this with your partner/children/self

✦ Wearing clothing that is comfortable and suitable to your sensory

needs

✦ Developing scripts beforehand to address any difficult topics that

may be discussed—honoring your boundaries.

✦ Scheduling time to participate in regulating/soothing activities both

before and after an event—self-care!

“The holidays are an opportunity to celebrate togetherness in all its forms. By

recognizing and honoring the diverse ways we experience the season, we can create

spaces that feel safe, inclusive, and joyful for everyone. Whether it’s adjusting

traditions, communicating openly, or simply offering more patience and understanding,

these small acts of support can make a big difference. Let’s make this holiday season a

time when all feel valued, connected, and cared for—just as they are.”